1. "Excuse me, sir, but between the dumpster fire on Third Street and the train wreck outside of town, we already have enough metaphors for the Trump campaign."
2. Luckily, the drive was able to avail himself of the Hillary defense, "I wasn't driving recklessly, just extremely carelessly."
3. "The driver says hold off on the jaws of life, she's still texting."
4. "Guys! For the love of God, pull me out of here! I swear, the truck is *not* a Transformer! Please stop waiting for it to transform."
5. Since Colorado legalized marijuana, first responders just stand around going "Wow."
Best of GregMan
"He says hold off a minute, he's almost captured a squirtle"
Best of Dr. Doom
The scene moments after Representative Frank realized the shuttle bus driver in the left lane was Hung...