Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Feats of Strength



1. For her next feat of strength, Hillary will fist Huma live on 'Ellen DeGeneres.'

2. Hillary's People: "We need to do something on your show to dispel these health rumors." Kimmel's people: "Well, how about we take her for a run in the park." Hillary's People: "Um, no, she doesn't walk around so good." Kimmel's People: "How about we let her take questions from the audience."  Hillary's People: "No, taking unprepared questions causes her to have seizures." Kimmel's People: "How about she opens a pickle jar." Hillary's People: "OK, but *we* supply the jar."

3. "Twist harder... pretend there's a large donation in it from a brutal foreign dictator who wants a favor." *Pop*

4. "Whew! This lid is on much tighter than the one on the Testicle Jar."

5. Not everyone was impressed. "Kermit Gosnell would have had that opened in nothing flat," sniffed Cecile Richards at Planned Parenthood.

Best of tonn
and now we see why BIll won't let her grab his balls.

Best of metalgarth
So.... we'll put her in charge of opening pickle jars in white house kitchen. (Somehow I think that job pays at least $75,000.00 a year) 

Best of Submariner
>cackle<
>snort!<
>cackle<
>snarf<
 
Best of Mr Hankey
"It's just like changing the batteries in Huma's strap-on, and smells the same too!"

Best of jimmy
Shout from audience: "Pretend it's Monica!"

10 comments:

tonn said...

and now we see why BIll won't let her grab his balls.

Dr. Doom said...

In their latest commercial the Trump Campaign shows Hillary trying to open a big 'ol can of whoopa$$...

metalgarth said...

So.... we'll put her in charge of opening pickle jars in white house kitchen. (Somehow I think that job pays at least $75,000.00 a year)

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

Hils: "This move is called the 'Keep It in Your Pants'."
Host: "And what do you use that for - do I even want to know?"
Hils: "Well it is really good for getting your husband to focus on his public image. Huma just loves it - Carlos Danger not so much..."

5:59 PM Delete

Submariner said...

>cackle<
>snort!<
>cackle<
>snarf<

Submariner said...

This shouldn't be much harder to get into that Huma's pants, Jimmy!

BPatMan said...

Hillary proves once and for all that you can open anything with enough WD-40 on it.

Mr Hankey said...

"It's just like changing the batteries in Huma's strap-on, and smells the same too!"

jimmy said...

Shout from audience: "Pretend it's Monica!"