Friday, September 23, 2016

If I Had a Hammer


1. Chuck Schumer was confused: "Which end of this assault rifle do the bullets come out?"

2. Watching McConnell bang himself in the face with the claw end was funny for the first ten minutes, but after that, Paul Ryan just felt sorry for him.

3. "You guys are pathetic. Look how fast Hillary's hammering. Of course she keeps missing the nail and her aides are standing between her and the cameras and now one of them's got a hypodermic needle out, but God bless her, look at her go."

4. Republicans try to construct an artificial backbone.

5. "He was just a poor defensless little mouse. Why'd you have to do that to him, Senator Schumer?"

Threadwinner Jay Guevara
Shouldn't one of them have a sickle?



Best of Tex Lovera
"Nothing like hammerin' screws into a 4x2, right Chuckster?"

 

Best of Sort-of-Mad Max
"So this is that 'work' thing we keep taxing the livin' whee out of? Seems kinda pointless!"

 

Best of Dr. Doom
Sign on conference room door: Caution Heavy Erection Under Progress...

 

Best of jimmy
An increasingly demented Senator Schumer joins the Republicans at the building site for Trump's border wall, causing Paul Ryan to laugh until he wet his pants.

 

Best of dadoctah
ORA: "Dirty grups! Bonk-bonk on the head! Bonk-Bonk!"

 

Best of Jay Guevara
Hillary: "You call THAT getting hammered?"

 

 

Best of Rodney Dill
Habitat for Inanity

 

Best of Best of

Ohhh... so that is how the servants open those eggs.... hmmmmm who would have thought?

 

21 comments:

Tex Lovera said...

"Nothing like hammerin' screws into a 4x2, right Chuckster?"

"When I said we needed to 'hammer out an agreement', I didn't mean LITERALLY, you morons."

Sort-of-Mad Max said...

"So this is that 'work' thing we keep taxing the livin' whee out of? Seems kinda pointless!"

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

"And now you can see why we need the $650 hammers Senator," explained the Army Chief of Staff in a stroke of brilliance, "These $20 civilian hammers from Home Depot are clearly too difficult to operate. "

Dr. Doom said...

Sign on conference room door: Caution Heavy Erection Under Progress...

jimmy said...

An increasingly demented Senator Schumer joins the Republicans at the building site for Trump's border wall, causing Paul Ryan to laugh until he wet his pants.

dadoctah said...

ORA: "Dirty grups! Bonk-bonk on the head! Bonk-Bonk!"

Jay Guevara said...

Hillary: "You call THAT getting hammered?"

dadoctah said...

Politics is a dirty game. Not like clean, wholesome whack-a-mole.

Jay Guevara said...

Shouldn't one of them have a sickle?

Dr. Doom said...

...Shouldn't one of them have a sickle?...

JG for President! I nearly snorted wine through my nose dude...

Submariner said...

Blogger Dr. Doom said...
...Shouldn't one of them have a sickle?...

JG for President! I nearly snorted wine through my nose dude...


Mega ditto's, dude.

Rodney Dill said...

Obama is not in this photo op as he'd rather be seen as screwing us.

Rodney Dill said...

Shitty shitty bang bang

Rodney Dill said...

Habitat for Inanity

Submariner said...

Ryan's thawt bubble:
"Bang Bang Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon his...
Well, at least it was kinda CLOSE to the board?"

Anonymous said...

Ohhh... so that is how the servants open those eggs.... hmmmmm who would have thought?

Rodney Dill said...

Banger? I don't even know her.

Rodney Dill said...

The Senate that bangs together,
hangs together.

Rodney Dill said...

"There, thats the last one... hand me some more screws."