1. "All right, mom, I'm gonna have to close this Skype now."
2. "Dammit, I hate it when Hillary resets my bookmarks."
3. "OMG, that makes me so hot. I'm taking off my bra now.... Of course I'm a lesbian, too... just my... um... cam isn't working because of software, but I'm totally hot and female right now. Don't stop."
4. "OK, just dropped the six-year-old and the four-year-old off for story time, and now some daddy-time."
5. "Meh... it's not the best Thursday pic ever, but it beat that swan peeing on that girl."