Tuesday, December 13, 2016

It Lives



1. The donors just love waving a check in front of her, then snatching it away shouting, "You can offer me nothing, so you get nothing!"

2. "The shoes? I like to throw them at the children who muff their lines. Goddess! I love Christmas pageants."

3. "Are you the angel of death, come to take me by the hand and free me of my burdens?" "No, ma'am... I'm Scruffy... the janitor."

4. "Why isn't there a goddam bourbon in this hand? What do I pay you shit-kickers for?"

5. "Are you a friend of Bill W?"
Best of Best of
Please pass me some toilet paper.

Best of Mr Hankey
Madame Tussaud's wax museum pictured Hillary perfect in her hands out for donations pose.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Alms! Alms!", the old lady cried, as I hurriedly adjusted my collar against the winter chill and bustled past Bum's Corner. I thanked my lucky stars that it was too cold for the flashers and other perverts to be out, or, at least, too cold for them to be noticable.

Best of Dr. Doom
It would take months for Hillary to overcome her instinctive "money grab" pose when meeting strangers. Later in life it would come in handy in her new career as a Wal-Mart greeter...

Best of GregMan
Are you going to finish those fries?"

Hillary hitting rock bottom on the street outside a McDonald's was a pathetic sight.

Wait, scratch that, I mean wonderful sight.

Best of Riteaidbob
"Here...pull my finger."

11 comments:

Dr. Doom said...

For a second there an image of a disgraced Cersei Lannister being paraded naked through the streets of Kings Landing flashed through my brain. And then I threw up in my mouth a little...

Dr. Doom said...

The waves of failure emanating from Mrs. Clinton almost took Bill off his game but in the end the Santa suit turned the trick (so to speak)...

Anonymous said...

Please pass me some toilet paper.

Mr Hankey said...

Staffers are unsure whether Hillary was planning on keeping their balls or handing them back after the post-election crunch.

Mr Hankey said...

Madame Tussaud's wax museum pictured Hillary perfect in her hands out for donations pose.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Alms! Alms!", the old lady cried, as I hurriedly adjusted my collar against the winter chill and bustled past Bum's Corner. I thanked my lucky stars that it was too cold for the flashers and other perverts to be out, or, at least, too cold for them to be noticable.

Dr. Doom said...

"I know you are upset about losing your umm... investment, in my campaign Your Highness," glad handed Mrs. Clinton, "Maybe I could interest you in a dozen gently used State Department Priuses? No? How about a top of the line e-mail server?"

Dr. Doom said...

It would take months for Hillary to overcome her instinctive "money grab" pose when meeting strangers. Later in life it would come in handy in her new career as a Wal-Mart greeter...

... in her new career as the ticket taker at the Clinton Presidential Library and Massage Parlor...

... in her new career as Carlos Danger's fluffer on the set of Desperate Congressmen in Trouble...

GregMan said...

"Are you going to finish those fries?"

Hillary hitting rock bottom on the street outside a McDonald's was a pathetic sight.

Wait, scratch that, I mean wonderful sight.

GregMan said...

"I'd get up to shake your hand, but I'm busy squeezing out one last chunk."

Riteaidbob said...

"Here...pull my finger."