Thursday, March 31, 2016

Octavia from 'The 100'

Dayum

She only plays a teenager on TV. She's actually 29. Game on.


Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Three Democrats Walk Into a Bar...




1. Oh, look, a racist egomaniac. And Donald Trump. And another racist egomaniac.

2. The Donald. "Hey, you guys, any advice for conning large numbers of people into thinking you're on their side so you can use them to gain money and power?"

3. "Oh, Al, you've made me the happiest girl in the world."

4. "No, I don't want to be in a 'white turkey on rye sandwich,' why the Hell would you even ask?"

5. "Did you guys know they're doing an all you-people version of 'Grease?'"

Best of GregMan
Donald: "A spitroast? What's that?"

Best of HowardDevore
Al: "Donald, you have to tell me your secret. How do you keep it from crawling away and flapping on your head?"

Best of jimmy
Reverend Jesse tries to assure the troubled couple that though the rest of world may frown on their love, he supports them---as long as they support his SuperPAC.

Best of dadoctah
"So do we run through our hits in order starting with Candida and Knock Three Times, or bow to demand and open right up with Tie A Yellow Ribbon?"

Best of metalgarth
Don and I are gonna do something anal in an adult and pleasurable context Jesse. You in?

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

I'm Back Baby


1. ORA: "Oh, yeah, the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic is an even bigger Lesbo scene than Lilith Fair."

2.  The Juvie spinoff of 'Orange Is the New Black' was a HUGE hit with what ratings experts call 'The WNBA Demographic.'

3. "Look, if you want a recommendation at the end of this internship, you'll just keep your mouth shut and do whatever any Clinton demands of you, no matter how degrading."

4. "Are we really old enough to be flight attendants for Mr. Clinton and Mr. Epstein?"

5. "I keep hearing a voice behind the mirror humming 'Thank Heaven for Little Girls' followed by cackling."

Best of Double the U
Ingsoc's cloning went remarkably well.

Best of Artfldgr
Send in the Clones... their has to be clones... maybe next year...

Best of Artfldgr
Weird Science my arse, this is what I did with my 3D printer...

Best of metalgarth
All I can say is... LOTS OF SAMMICHES!!!!

Thursday, March 24, 2016

A Nice Package Deserves a Ribbon

I am on dipsoluscious vacation and the Wiffy ain't so good here. So, posting will be light and variable, like the wind.




Monday, March 21, 2016

Need No Caption

Best of Rodney Dill
Obama: "I will defeat you with my Limp Noodle Kung Fu."

Best of Whacko
"The negro is indolent and lazy, and spends his money on frivolities." - Ernesto Che Gurvara

Best of GregMan
Obama gives the secret hanshake to get into the Havana Man's Country.

Best of Best of
Okay, Okay! I'll give you Guantanamo. Quit twisting my arm.

Best of Varmit
A 4 snaps! rating for 'Humiliated in Havana', the latest episode in The American Cuckold series, starring Barry O.

Best of Rodney Dill
Raoul: "I haven't had this much fun waving for someone since Fidel's stroke."

Best of Dactyl
Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a commie out of this hat!

Uh, Mr. President, you don't have a hat.

Best of Kaptain Krude
ORA: "Oh goody! It's my night in the barrel tonight!"

Che Guevara Looks On Proudly, His Victory Complete


Sunday, March 20, 2016

So, What Exactly Is That Award For??


Marybeth was proud to be named 'Clinton Intern of the Year.'

Best of Artfldgr
Without feminism, my outfit and award would never be possible...

Best of Jay Guevara
"We are proud to accept this award as the two most convincing trans-gender surgery patients of the year."

 

Best of Rodney Dill
OMG... It's full of stars!

Best of Dr. Doom
"...and the Rosie O'Donnell Womyn's Research Award goes to Leslie Lesbosson for her statistical research on how many licks it takes to get to the center," intoned the announcer...

Best of Submariner
We believe in ourselves! Once we resolve to overcome societal resistance to our being womyn, there's NO issue we can't lick...

Best of Best of
The female Mason logo was a little more confusing.

Best of Jay Guevara
Staffers announce Hillary Clinton's new campaign logo.

Friday, March 18, 2016

The importance of proper accessorizing


1. The pink ear buds are what really pull the outfit together.

2. This is what's known in the trade as "Employment Camouflage."

3. His "manspreading" is really the icing on the cake.

4. Text: "Change in dinner plans. We're meeting at the Capitol Grille instead of Hooters. That OK?"

5. Somewhat disappointed not to see if the socks match as well.

Best of jimmy
The 2016 'Stevie Wonder Collection For Men' was the final nail in the coffin for Sears, ending a long, painful march to bankruptcy.

Best of Dr. Doom
Porn shirt.................. check
Porn shorts................. check
Porn hat.................... check
Pee Wee Herman underwear.... check
"Looks like I'm ready for my bus trip to Miami," thought Rodney...

Best of Artfldgr
Pedro wonders if he overdressed for this evenings slut walk and candlelight vigil

Best of Submariner
Hillary's reaction; "Gaia! I have that same outfit!"

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Why Everyone Should Own a Boat



Best of GregMan
It's good to see that someone with a metal rod sticking out of her head can still enjoy a day out on the water.

Best of Spurlee
something, something...flotation devices...something

Best of Best of
I volunteer to make the motorboat sounds.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

No caption just this


Best of Dr. Doom
I wager 20,000 quatloos on the ugly one...

Best of Kaptain Krude
What, is this some sort of stereoscopic thing? You look through the viewfinder, and it looks 3-D because it is the same picture for each eye. Why would you do that to me? Why?

Best of Artfldgr
Finally fox has a commenter we can believe in.. no, the one on the right...

Best of Rodney Dill
It was several hours before Hillary realized that her husband had been replaced with Bill the Cat..

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

When the Safe School Czar Books Your Singer

Brender

1. To burnish his bipartisan credentials, Marco Rubio sings the national anthem at the Democrat debate.

2.  "Damn, look at that fine tight ass," thought Cankles. "I wonder if he has a sister."

3. And when young Ahmed shouted "Allahu Akbar!" and detonated the suicide vest, he became a hero to all Americans and improved American-Muslim relations for decades.

4. Eduardo wasn't nervous, singing at the Democrat convention was a lot like singing at the Alzheimer's Hospice, just with an older and even less in-touch-with-reality audience.

5. "If you're not here to mow grass, then get off our lawn!"

6. Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz

Best of GregMan
Gerardo starts the Democrat debate off with a bang with his rendition of the Internationale.

Best of Rodney Dill
...and now for the DNC Pledge of Allegiance... Yd di buckety, ram ding doo, ni ni ni, YAOOOOOllll!

Best of Best of
Hillary was smart this time, she covered her mic before mumbling "faggot".

Best of Artfldgr
Bernie: Ah, exscuse me... i think i am having a heart attack...

Bad Boys, What You Gonna Do?

Schneider


1. "Maybe next time, you'll keep your light saber in your pants."
2. No one was injured when the gunman opened fire, despite the expenditure of over 11,000 rounds of ammunition.
3. "Gimme a break, officer. It's pretty evident I'm not the only one who publicly urinates on the 'Star Wars Episode I' Memorial."

Best of Dr. Doom
What really happens if you try to do the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs...

Best of Whacko
"Sir, I'm going to have to give you a citation. The sign over there clearly says, 'Parking for Rebel Ships Only'."

Best of Steve O
Following Order 66...

Best of Dactyl
I'm not the stormtrooper you're looking for. I'm not the stormtrooper you're looking for!
Dang it, why does that only work on me?

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Spot the Feminist

Schneider


2. Disney continues to deny rumors that the Log Ride at the Magic Kingdom is haunted by the Angry Ghost of Gilda Radner.

2. "Enjoy myself? Riding a phallic symbol through a moist tunnel? Try again, Rape Culture."

3. "It's Angry Bitch Day at Disney World; Bring Your Angry Bitch and get half-off adult admission."

4, Or, maybe she's just jealous that the public schoolteacher in the seat in front of her is copping a feel?

5. "I missed a Donald Trump protest for *this*!"

Best of metalgarth
6 Flags over Elizabeth Cady Stanton's Dead Ass was about as thrilling in real as it sounded on paper.

Best of Jay Guevara
Thought bubble: "People are enjoying themselves. This is unacceptable."

Best of chronos Z. wonderpig
"I thought this ride was called the Sybian!"

Best of Artfldgr
Who knew that ovaries can dry up and no one wants my strong argumentative vegan bitchiness without that...

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Whee."

Best of Dr. Doom
Suddenly Janet wondered if she had forgotten to turn off her 10KW diesel powered vibrator before leaving home...

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

Hang on Baby Thursday's Comin'



1. Sometimes, the people of Walmart forget that not everywhere is Walmart.

2. "You know what I hate? Old guys who go out in public in Depends and stupid hats. ... There's one right behind me, isn't there."

3. "I can't turn around and look. You tell me where he puts his change."

4. Ever since his show was canceled, Larry King just doesn't give a sh-t."

5. "Would some please tell Coach Edwards I'm *NOT* interested."

Best of Submariner
Jon Edwards; phoning it in since the failed campaign.

Best of Sort-of-Mad Max
(Walter Matthau) voice: "I told that skippy fruit Felix that if he put my pants away instead of just leaving them draped over the kitchen table where I left them ONE MORE TIME, I'd just go out without them!"

Best of GregMan
Be grateful he at least saw the sign that said, "No pants, no shoes, no service" and put some underwear on.

Best of Double the U
It wasn't too bad until he pulled the money out of the small diagonal pocket in the front of his shorts.

Best of jimmy
...and it got positively creepy when he offered what I *hope* was a roll of dimes.

Best of Artfldgr
Ever since blasio loostened up the laws in ny, public urination and drinking has been the least of our problems...

Best of Dr. Doom
In Baltimore casual Fridays have gone right off the rails. You don't even want to know about TMI Tuesdays...

Best of Dactyl
This is not what Starbucks meant with it's open carry policy.

Monday, March 07, 2016

J'Accuse!


1. In a rare show of Solidarity, Bernie agrees to pull Hillary's finger.

2. "Do not believe this man's lies! He is not the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks."

3. The only two people in the world who could build-up a score of -$80,000,000 in Celebrity Jeopardy.

4. Scully and Mulder have really let themselves go.

5, "I'm just gonna let the Crypt-Keeper answer that one, Anderson."

Best of GregMan
"She queefed!"
"No, HE queefed!"

Best of dadoctah
"Mr Sanders has played paper, and Mrs Clinton...is that supposed to be scissors?"

Best of Submariner
"Just hold on there a minute, Anderson. That sounds suspiciously like a legitimate question. Per the Democratic National Committee, those only go to this guy over here!"

Best of jimmy
Hildebeest: "He wants to bankrupt the country!"
Bernie: "That's not true. We're already bankrupt! But at this point, what difference does it make?"

Best of Mr Hankey
Playing Democrat See & Say....the donkey says "tax the white people"

Best of dadoctah
"Achtung! Juden!" Hillary cuts to the chase.

Best of Steve O
To give you some perspective here, it's the 74 year old white man, peddling he same failed 19th century ideology Democrats have been pitching for the last 100 years who is considered the breath of fresh air.

Best of Submariner
Go ahead; I DARE you! Just ASK him where the "Uranus Fudge Factory" is...

Best of Submariner
Hillary, you ignorant slut!

Best of Dactyl
PEW PEW PEW!!!

Friday, March 04, 2016

Hey, Look, Two Hippos Doing It


Best of GregMan
I see Michael Moore and Amy Schumer are at it again...

Best of GregMan
The formative moment of Dub's childhood, caught on film.

Best of Dr. Doom
Behind the scenes at the Christie Campaign Headquarters...

Best of____________
Horny Horny Hippos!

Best of metalgarth
Scientists were excited. It was the first time that a Rosie O'Donnell had ever been bred in captivity

Best of curly
Chris Christie’s porn collection would be considered rather esoteric by most.

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Nothing Refreshes Like a Big Black Bottle


Chris Christie Has No Mouth and He Must Scream


Best of Double the U
Oh shit.... Did I turn off the waffle iron?

Best of GregMan
"Oh my God he's actually serious about this race! What have I done?"

Best of John Schneider
My God! It's full of stars!

Best of Dr. Doom
"Must not endorse Trump... must resist... must not endorse...", thought Gov Christie, "Wait is that a Wagyu prime rib in the buffet line? Must endorse Trump... must stay on campaign trail..."

Best of curly
New Jersey has the best acid.

Best of jimmy
Christie thoughtbubble: "10:01?!? Oh, f$%^ I'm missing the Real Housewives!"

Best of Steve O
Christie employs Joey's "smell a fart" look.

Best of Double the U
That moment when Christe realized Trump probably wasn't going to build a casino to save Atlantic City.

Best of Submariner
Engaging the Infinite Improbability Drive could lead to some absolutely unbelievable warps in reality for the duration of the transit...

Second Rate Kiddo Pron

1. After Mary Kay Letourneau went back to jail, Billy was eager to get back into the dating scene.

2. "Kobe? Senator Reid? Safe School Czar? Anyone?"

3. Snapshots of Macaulay Culkin's Camping Trip with Michael Jackson emerged this week. Here is the one we can show you.

Tuesday, March 01, 2016

Tom Servo No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!


1. "Maybe he'll take me to the pound," thought the dog. "Maybe he'll take me to the pound and they'll put me down and sweet, sweet death will end this torment."

2. Next on our list of "Things that are gayer than cum on a moustache..."

3. "My parents don't understand me."

4. "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Lee."

5. His mom could never figure out why they were always out of cucumbers and hand lotion.

Best of Dr. Doom
Eventually the influence of Race Bannon took its toll on Johnny Quest...