Saturday, December 31, 2016

VTK NYE PSA

Trigger Discipline is the number one rule for gun safety. See illustration below.


Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Another Loose End

If you can't caption it, just tell me WTF is going on in it.



1. Hillary and Huma resort to cosplay in an attempt to bring the spice back to their relationship.

2. "Nazi Candles" never quite took off the way Yankee Candle did.

3. ORA:  Next on Archer: Pam and Cheryl hang out in Krieger's office with milk and candles.

Best of Dr. Doom
The Nazi candles White Privilege scent was quite popular in Trump Tower and certain areas of Montana and Idaho...

Best of Nose
If you could go back in time and milk Hitler, would you?

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Leftovers and Loose Ends

It's that time of year when I post the pics that have been sitting around for months unused and make them open threads.


Friday, December 23, 2016

Cankles Noir



1. Dammit Huma, even though you cost me the election, why can't I quit you.

2. "Dealer is late as usual, I hate these 'multicultural' neighborhoods."

3. "I wonder what a Crack Master really is. I bet Bill would know." 

4. Agent Scully has not aged well.

5. Hillary waits outside surfing for BarelyLegalGirlOnGirl as her "Specialist" prepares to "plug another DNC Emails leak."

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Sir Mix-A-Lot May Have to Make an Exception



1. Seeing that today's protest at Trump Tower was canceled on account of rain, Michael Moore decided to hail a cab, go home, and binge-watch Man vs Food.

2.  Up next on 'The View,' Lena Dunham's tribute to Gene Kelly.

3. ORA:  And this is why Latka had to replace Cab 804's entire suspension.

4. She just got a Brazilian wax job the acreage of which exceeded Brazil's annual rainforest deforestation.

5. "Go on now, go, walk out the door/Just turn around now/Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?/Do you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?" --- Hey, it's just plain efficient to recycle captions.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Ho, Ho, No...



1. Well, the Electoral College has voted, and Anthony Weiner no longer has any reason to give a sh-t.

2. This kind of thing was always happening to Ron Weasley.

3. The line was actually, "Away to the window I flew like a flash..." I don't know WTF you heard.

4. Match the onlooker to the thoughtbubble: "Not quite a stocking stuffer... maybe an ankle sock."

5. The mistletoe was a nice touch.

Monday, December 19, 2016

I Really, REALLY Shouldn't Do This, But...


1. "Whether you're a brother, or whether you're a mullah, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
     Ah - ah - ah - ah- Stayin' Alive, stayin' alive..."

2. Bad idea: Rebooting 'Pulp Fiction.' Terrible idea: Casting Ryan from 'The Office' as Marcellus Wallace.

3. "As Allah is my witness, I shall never be hungry again!" (It sort of came true.)

4. "Go on now, go, walk out the door/Just turn around now/Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?/Do you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?"

5. "Dear Mr. Altintas, Your vetting process is complete and you are approved for immigration to the United States. Welcome to America. Sincerely, John Kerry's State Department."

Saturday, December 17, 2016

The Ultimate "Where Will You Be When Your Laxative Kicks In" Caption Beg


1. "Mr President we found your sealed college transcripts on Wilileaks."

2. After eight years of trying, Chris Matthews finally made it into the presidential podium.

3. Obama learns that the Wikileaks emails include an "untucked" picture of M'Chel.

4. "Just one hit," Malaria said. "It'll take the edge off," she said. "Next thing I know, the press room is melting into the floor and Jonathan Karl has morphed into Pepe the Frog."

5. Like MacBeth's Banquo, the ghost of Harambe still haunts the president's press conferences.

Best of metalgarth
No..... Not Lenny!!!!!

Best of Dr. Doom
Kenyan death stare in 3... 2... 1...


Best of GregMan
"Oh my God he actually DID win the election!"


Best of Dr. Doom
"I had the Secret Service lean on those ba$tards over at Go Daddy to shut down that right wing Christian hate site that was so mean to me," thought the President, "But somehow they have come back and they are meaner than ever. I guess I will have to call in one of those um, air thingys the ahhh, air force briefed me on back when I was still listening to briefings..."


Best of Kaptain Krude
Thought bubble: " "


Best of Sort-of-Mad Max
"Oh, my God, that's my box of 'special photos' of me and my 'body man' Reggie. What's Tucker Carlson doing with it????"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Her boobs are too big, and that is waaaay too much whiskey."

 

Friday, December 16, 2016

Meant to Post This Yesterday


Perhaps this will help more monors find this site.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

It Lives



1. The donors just love waving a check in front of her, then snatching it away shouting, "You can offer me nothing, so you get nothing!"

2. "The shoes? I like to throw them at the children who muff their lines. Goddess! I love Christmas pageants."

3. "Are you the angel of death, come to take me by the hand and free me of my burdens?" "No, ma'am... I'm Scruffy... the janitor."

4. "Why isn't there a goddam bourbon in this hand? What do I pay you shit-kickers for?"

5. "Are you a friend of Bill W?"
Best of Best of
Please pass me some toilet paper.

Best of Mr Hankey
Madame Tussaud's wax museum pictured Hillary perfect in her hands out for donations pose.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Alms! Alms!", the old lady cried, as I hurriedly adjusted my collar against the winter chill and bustled past Bum's Corner. I thanked my lucky stars that it was too cold for the flashers and other perverts to be out, or, at least, too cold for them to be noticable.

Best of Dr. Doom
It would take months for Hillary to overcome her instinctive "money grab" pose when meeting strangers. Later in life it would come in handy in her new career as a Wal-Mart greeter...

Best of GregMan
Are you going to finish those fries?"

Hillary hitting rock bottom on the street outside a McDonald's was a pathetic sight.

Wait, scratch that, I mean wonderful sight.

Best of Riteaidbob
"Here...pull my finger."

Monday, December 12, 2016

"Genderqueer" South African "artist" expresses xyr feelin's 'bout white folk.



1. The new Batman villain has an interesting hook.

2. The main reason people are starving in Africa.

3. The new abstinence spokesman was surprisingly effective.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Der Fuhrer's Face


1. Bibi Netanyahu abruptly figures out who the German Chancellor reminds him of.

2. You can pick your Chancellor, and you can pick your nose. And apparently...

3. "Eye Poke! Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck!"

4.  "There's either a really gross booger or the oil-slick alien from the X-Files on your upper lip."

5.  "It's okay, Angela, Hillary always fails my Field Sobriety Tests as well."

Saturday, December 10, 2016

This Year, Christmas Comes to Santa


This must be why he keeps a list of naughty girls.


Wednesday, December 07, 2016

Do I Make You Horny, Baby



1. And the next item on my list of things more enjoyable than dealing with Google Tech support...

2. "Oh, stop whining, we'll just put some Bactine on it."

3. The ironic death of the guy who invented Facebook's "poke" feature.

4. Why you always say "No" when a bull offers you a "Hertz Doughnut."

5. These Millenials and their crazy body modifications, I don't know....

Ugh... Google....

Yeah, so... the rather complicated story is that the Domain Registration for vthek.net expired and I never got any notice of this. So, I tried to go to Google (who owns Blogger which is where the site is set up) to try and resolve the matter. But Google said, "Since you bought the domain through Go Daddy, you have to renew it through them." But Go-Daddy said, "Nope, since your site is hosted on Google's servers, you have to renew the Domain through them." So, after two days of trying to work out a reasonable solution, I just bought a new Domain. I hope monors can find it.

Also, here's some second rate pr0n...


Monday, December 05, 2016

When You Eat Too Much Cheese

Schneider



1. "Can't... hold... in... queef... much... longer...."

2. After much strenuous effort, Stretch Pelosi was finally able to blink.

3. Women of the Democrat Caucus all demonstrating their 'O' face.

4. "Oh, no! Do farts have lumps?"

5. "Thank you sir, may I have another?"

Best of metalgarth
KEGELS: UR DOIN' THEM TOO WELL, AKTUALLY

Best of GregMan
"Dammit, my Crack-Master is out of control!"

Best of Dr. Doom
After the Trump win Minority Leader Peloci loses no time in assembling the coven...

Best of Mr Hankey
Following her edict of" we'll figure it out once we pass it", Nancy regrets that last Del Taco Green Burrito.

Saturday, December 03, 2016

Brokeback Starship

Schneider



Threadwinner: metalgarth
Mr. Sulu and I were going to do something anal in an adult and pleasurable context. You in, Mr. Spock?

Best of John Schneider
Sorry, didn't mean to get that in your beard.

Best of metalgarth
Science officer 'eh? Maybe you could study my sexy learning disability. What's it called Kiff? (Groan) Sex-lexia.

Best of David
Why cain't I warp you?

Best of jimmy
"Oooh, Spock! Phasers are set to *stunning*..."

Best of Dr. Doom
Kirk: "Ooh that Romulan uniform really does it for me Mr. Spock"
Spock: "Cosplay Friday is illogical Captain, but very entertaining..."

Games Day