Tuesday, January 03, 2017

What Does a Four-Time Loser Have for Breakfast?

1. "Mom, let's ask for an autograph!" "Oh, no, honey... just let the Cryptkeeper eat in peace."

2. "Am I a woman dreaming I'm a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming I'm a corrupt, decrepit, brain-damaged, incompetent, power-crazed bitch?"

3. "Mom, let's ask for an autograph!" "Oh, no, honey... just let Meg Ryan eat in peace."

4. "Let's see if there's any hits on my 'locallesbians' app."

5. A sad Hillary checks her phone again to see if any of the Clinton Foundation donors (three hours late by now) have texted.


Dr. Doom said...

Mrs. Clinton moves on to her next conquest, cornering the toypedo market...

Anonymous said...

This needs a caption:

.........Russ in Oregon

metalgarth said...

Now bring me my bowl of Jack Danniels and Product 19

Nose said...

Russia ate 4 pancakes, a double side of hash browns, and a 4 egg omelette. WASN'T MY FAULT!!

Dr. Doom said...

Text: ...and Huma contact the service immediately, you know what I like. And this time make sure her tongue is at least four inches long...

Kaptain Krude said...

ORA: "Well, I'm a jet fuel genius - I can solve the world's problems
Without even trying
I have dozens of friends and the fun never ends
That is, as long as I'm buying
Is it any wonder I'm not the president
(She's not the president)
Is it any wonder I'm null and void?
Is it any wonder I've got

Too much time on my hands, it's ticking away at my sanity
I've got too much time on my hands, it's hard to believe such a calamity"
I've got too much time on my hands and it's ticking away from me"

Mr Hankey said...

Hillary keeps checking Evite for her invite to the big Obama finale bash.

Dactyl said...

Hey, text message from Mike Litoris? Things are looking up... oh.