Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Valentine's Day with Matt Lauer



1. "So, I trust date night with Chris Matthews went well."

2. "The handcuffs weren't nearly as kinky as the butt closures."

3. And then Al Roker came out in buttless leather chaps and it was Andrew Sullivan's favorite Today Show ever.

4. "Our safety word is 'Barack.'"

5.   "After the commercial break, we'll check and see how the gerbil is doing."

Best of Dr. Doom
Number 17 on the list of ways you can tell that your car wash probably comes with a free rim job...

Best of Best of
Still a better romantic movie than "Twilight."

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Hey, Harrison Ford, I've got a new key ring for you!"

Best of Rooted in Him
ORA - "You, me, handcuffs. Must it always end this way?"

Best of Best of
"Only on Today." No sh*t.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"... so when we searched the traps, we found at least a dozen of these little monsters running around. A little zap from the cattle prod, and they're mostly docile. But the problem is, they're breeders. You could be overrun on these within a few weeks. Would you like to pay for the extra Diamond Plan, in which we not only trap 'em, but also haul 'em off for an extra $25 per month?"

8 comments:

Dr. Doom said...

Number 17 on the list of ways you can tell that your car wash probably comes with a free rim job...

Dr. Doom said...

The Harry 'Houdini' Jones, the lone conservative commentator on MSNBC, went briefly unshackled until the producer came to her senses and jolted him with the tenser unit. Order was quickly restored...

Anonymous said...

Still a better romantic movie than "Twilight."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Hey, Harrison Ford, I've got a new key ring for you!"

Rooted in Him said...

ORA - "You, me, handcuffs. Must it always end this way?"

Anonymous said...

"Only on Today." No sh*t.

Kaptain Krude said...

I thought that was supposed to be a cherry stem that you tie with your tongue, not those.

Kaptain Krude said...

"... so when we searched the traps, we found at least a dozen of these little monsters running around. A little zap from the cattle prod, and they're mostly docile. But the problem is, they're breeders. You could be overrun on these within a few weeks. Would you like to pay for the extra Diamond Plan, in which we not only trap 'em, but also haul 'em off for an extra $25 per month?"