Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Wonderful School Picture Fail


(Voice of Morgan Freeman) : "And Joey did indeed grow into his title, taming strange from coast to coast as captain of his university's water polo team. Joey died, alone and exhausted, in a hotel room in Vegas after a 59 dancer spree. His body, naturally desiccated by his sexual prowess, was swept up with a Dustbuster and consumed by Hugh Hefner in a Satanic ritual".

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

The Ice Cream Man



1. "DO NOT REMOVE ME FROM THIS VAT OF COLD SUGARY SEMI-SOLID MILK—I AM FINALLY HAPPY"

2. "Your Holstein print curtains are an offense to heavy-set women and gay  men everywhere."

3. "'Chubby Hubby' is an offense to socialism. Why so many flavors? One is enough. As long as it's not strawberry."

4.  And the number one sign you're at a really, really bad bachelor party....

5. When I said like more nuts in my Rocky Road ice cream, this is not what I was thinking.

Best of Dr. Doom
The promotion for Ben & Jerry's new flavor, Nuttier Than a Socialist Moonbat, was marketing genius...

Best of metalgarth
Well.... I IDENTIFY as package of Ice Cream and DEMAND free tax payer money to support my lifestyle.

Best of Rodney Dill
"SHRINKAGE!"

Best of Best of
I scream... You scream... WE ALL SCREAM... and finally Hillary will LEAVE!!!!!

Best of jimbro
Long time hemorrhoid sufferer Bernie Sanders finds relief while campaigning.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Looks like someone opted for one of those "Earth-Friendly" Funerals.



Best of John Schneider
The ultra economy funeral. $149. $125 if you bring your own baggies.

Best of Dr. Doom
Redneck funerals are slightly less entertaining than redneck weddings... because one less drunk.

Best of Best of
Once they arrived at the landfill, the decedent started feeling chipper.

Best of Rodney Dill
Shredder? I don't even know her.

Best of jimbro
Mexican vampire tree trimmers, doing the jobs that American vampires refuse to do.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Here kitty kitty. Here kitty kitty."

Best of jimbro
A mere $100 invested in pre-IPO shares of Soylent Green Industries would be worth millions today.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Thursdays Are Easy Though

Sorry for the lack of posting. I just haven't seen any funny pictures that inspired me lately.


Tuesday, April 11, 2017

But Where Is His Other Hand?



1. "Is that a dissertation on General Relativity in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

2. "Sit down on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that comes up."

3. "Is my hand on your ass or is your ass on my hand? It depends entirely on your frame of reference."

4. "Not funny. Now giff me my teef back before I beat you like United Airlines securify."

5. Then she reached in his pocket and stole all his Oxycontin and Einstein never dated a West Virginia woman again.


Friday, April 07, 2017

TGIF


Titty Gun In (your) Face

Wednesday, April 05, 2017

Skin. Flute.



1. If you noticed the flute before the nip, expect a visit from Mike Pence's Electroshock Treatment Squad.

2. Female Jethro Tull reboot... much more intriguing than female Ghostbusters reboot.

3. "So, you spent your entire Clinton internship learning to play 'Hail to the Chief' on flute? Waste of time, huh?"

Saturday, April 01, 2017

Bloomers! Bloopers! Blessers! Bosoms!


1. "I never would have taken this internship if I knew it meant cleaning the skidmarks out of Hillary's bloomers."

2. Meanwhile, in the laundry room of 'The View' ...

3. Seems like an odd set up for a pr0n movie, but as long as they start making out, I'm cool with it.