Tuesday, April 11, 2017

But Where Is His Other Hand?



1. "Is that a dissertation on General Relativity in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

2. "Sit down on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that comes up."

3. "Is my hand on your ass or is your ass on my hand? It depends entirely on your frame of reference."

4. "Not funny. Now giff me my teef back before I beat you like United Airlines securify."

5. Then she reached in his pocket and stole all his Oxycontin and Einstein never dated a West Virginia woman again.


9 comments:

Kaptain Krude said...

"Vhere's my ovver hand? You've heard ov Tailhook, ja?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"While I have you here... have you heard the good news about Ron Paul?"
"Would zomevun help me, pleeze?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"You're no Bill Clinton."
"Und you are no Melania Trump."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Hey dad, why is my sister's name Teresa?"
Because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter.
"Thanks dad!"
No problem, Alan. Now take that stupid dress off and get off my lap.

Dr. Doom said...

"Vie yess, zey are real, Albert," replied Helga, "Und zey are shpektakular..."

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

Al puts the moves on on Oppenheimer's little sister...

ORA?

Dr. Doom said...

"Vell Heidi, your suggestion is anatomically imposhible," replied Einstein, "But I am villing to try if you are..."

Dr. Doom said...

Martha: "Oh Mr. Einstein, I just don't know what to do, I have such a crush on Alan Turing but he doesn't seem to know I'm alive."
Albert: "Bless your heart honey child..."