Tuesday, May 23, 2017
1. "So, the Prophets have sent down another Orb from the Celestial Temple... and the last one to take his hands off wins! I got this!"
2. "Aw, come on, you guys, just let me touch the Infinity Stone. I promised not to unleash its power."
3. "I just figured it out. Orb spelled backwards is 'bro.' How cool is that?"
4. "The Orb of Prophecy just told me I'm gonna nail Major Kyra."
5. "The Orb has sworn its allegiance to me. Do not be afraid."
Monday, May 22, 2017
Friday, May 12, 2017
1. ORA: Troy McClure leaks sex pics in a desperate bid to revive his career.
2. "Don't ask me how, but I just got the greatest idea for a TV show," Mark Cuban said.
3. "Rick, when I said you needed to find your own 'roe to ho,' what I meant was..."
4. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day... or do something so perverted it shocks all human standards of goodness and normalcy.
5. "I'm King of the World!"
Tuesday, May 09, 2017
1. "Well, Christine, when you and Rachel Maddow invited me to attend a 'Women for Women' Event.... I was expecting something sort of different."
2. "... and in conclusion, let me just say to all attendees, there is no such thing as a natural heterosexual orgasm. Good night."
3. Judging from her hands position, Hillary is trying to explain heterosexual intercourse to the uninitiated.
4. Hillary was so out-of-it on anti-seizure meds she didn't even feel the tribble eating her foot.
5. "Oh, I've been into 'International Women' for years... have you met my special friend Huma?"
Saturday, May 06, 2017
1. Akiro Kurosasawa's "Eyes Wide Shut."
2. Edna Mode saw this picture and immediately died of a brain seizure.
3. Production numbers like this were why Tommy Shaw quit Styx.
4. And this is why no one wanted to use the holodeck right after Mr. Sulu.