Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Katy Perry has fallen, and she can't get up

1. She hasn't been in a fetal position this wrong since she realized she had sex with Russell Brand.

2. The new pajama person is slightly less feminine than the old one.

3. Thought bubble: "How do trees work?"

4. Katy Perry's 'Orange is the New Black' audition went poorly because she couldn't convincingly portray an angry black lesbian. Also, she forgot to wear orange.

5. Katy Perry was unprepared for Hillary's size and gut-busting stamina.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Darwin Award Semi-FInalist

Cause of death: Massive head trauma induced when the cleansing energy affixed to her airbag was slammed into her skull.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Weekend Challenge

1. Their step-fathers and shame.

Best of Best of
Thug life and kitty litter.

Best of George C. Papoon
Ennui and desperation.

Best of George C. Papoon
The sickly sweet scent of overused fry oil at a 24 hour waffle joint on a muggy day.

Best of GregMan
Hillary Clinton.

Best of racerboy
Boone's, Fireball, and mayonnaise

Best of Rodney Dill
Teen spirit

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Free Hugs

According to her Facebook page, "Francine Duvall embraces herself as beautiful. She rides the subway dressed in a bikini to shatter societal norms of beauty."

My norms of beauty are still intact. She's just fugly.

What say you, monors?

Best of metalgarth
Sure.... if you're turned on by women whose midsections look like Jar Jar Binks in sunglasses
Best of Best of
"Aunt Francine! Put your clothes on right now, or no more ice cream!"
Best of George C. Papoon
"Francine Duvall embraces herself as beautiful", yet is puzzled why viewers embrace emesis basins.
Best of Dactyl
Wow, Clinton has really lost it.
Chelsea, Hill, Bill, or George? - V the K
Best of Best of
"I opened the puzzle box an hour ago but the Cenobites still haven't shown up. I'm waiting, guys!"
Best of GregMan
Best of Kaptain Krude
Free hugs
Option to not hug - $20
Aunt Gladys came up with a new, novel way to make money in a faltering economy.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Something Retro for Tuesday

1. "I think we should start seeing other people in giant test tubes."

2. "Well, I paid $400 for this outfit and I'm not changing, so you can just find something else to wear, missy!"

3. ORA: "Well, I'll 'talk to ya later,' because 'she's a beauty.' Get it, because we're in Tubes!"

4. Say what you will about Ivanka Trump, she makes a stunning pantsuit.

5. "Remind me again, how did we become trapped in your giant bong?"

Best of Best of
Wow Christopher, your parents sure are serious about this 'no sex before marriage' thing.

Best of rodney dill
Bong. James Bong.

Best of Dr. Doom
Late in his career Mr. Scott distinguished himself by adding a gender reassignment module to the Enterprise transporter system. Dr. McCoy was not amused but Mr. Sulu enjoyed it immensely...

Best of metalgarth
Meet the 1st ever successful Test Tube Adults

Best of mega
"As a white assistant professor, sometimes I don't feel as welcome at Evergreen College as I used to."

Friday, June 09, 2017

Sad Hipster Is Sad

1. His hipster-sense began twitching as soon as he sensed the presence of gluten within a four block radius.

2. Sudden realization that Comey's testimony isn't going to lead to Trump's impeachment, or Laxative kicking in?

3. How a normal man looks when his team just fumbled on fourth down; or how a hipster looks when he finds out the coffee isn't Fair Trade.

Best of metalgarth
Millhouse just KNEW he had the damning evidence on President Muntz but even MSNBC laughed when he said "Atomic Wedgies"

Best of Dr. Doom
The Metrosexual Avenger learns of Adam West's passing...

Best of jimbro
"What? Cum is not gluten free???"

Best of GregMan
"I still can't believe Hillary lost!"

Wednesday, June 07, 2017

The Wall

I figure this is either Comcast Customer Service or Spirit Airlines.

Thursday, June 01, 2017

Stolen from ther AOSHQ Art Thread

1. Hey look, it's Amy Schumer. And some skinny chick is riding on her. I think it's Hillary Swank.
2. "No, honey, I was using a slang term for a Harley Davidson motorcycle."
3. In his later years, Arnold Ziffle turned to porn to make ends meet.
4. In related news, Huma Abedin has decided to patch things up with Anthony Weiner. I have no idea why this picture made me think of that.
5. Granted, they were a longshot at winning the Preakness, but imagine the payoff.
6. Oh, so that's what "covfefe" means.